December

Thin volume trading is making the markets extremely volatile and manipulated by market players much bigger in size than myself. It's so hard to predict the pattern until I feel like just tossing a coin and setting a stop loss next to what I am trading. But discipline tells me I do not have to be in a trade all the time and I can just sit around and watch. Hell boring.. Been watching for the entire week of xmas and made 1 losing entry due to tight SL. well... no choice. got hit by one upswing then one downswing. catch the wrong momentum backwards.

This is pretty sick. Think my account is just too small to make any significant impact on my life. Should I start to move in like the big fishes and move towards the ocean? with a better broker with less spreads and a higher lot size than what I am now. This is never going to change my unemployment woes even if i carry on another 3 months. Maybe I am just now cut out for trading. No one calls me back for any trading position as of now.

My first month

I am pretty much happy with my results this month but disgusted at the way I get them. I made exactly the same mistakes I made at the start of the month that cost me dearly. The most fundamental of them all.
1. overtrading
2. lack of willingness to take loss
3. discipline.
Lack of confidence in my own set up was another key point. I was on the right path but did not believe in myself due to the suddenly swing in spikes.
There goes today profit because of all these points. I made exactly the same mistakes I made at the start of the month that was so costly I almost collapsed. I got to stop doing this to myself and believe in myself more. I tried finding excuses for myself like December is a bad month because the volatility is created by small volume and caused a lot of distortions. Hopefully I learn from all these mistakes and put them into some discipline. Really needs to start discipline myself.

Reflection

Today marks the darkest day in my trading life. Although I have not lost everything, but it as good as everything. Lack of money management, discipline and extreme eagerness to make a come back was the combination of all factors that lead to a loss of 500usd.
Time to sit back n reflect on myself today. A series of bad mistakes result in this.
BY not setting a stop loss, I let my losses run on me.
I did not set a take profit either constantly removing it even when I did, show the other lack of discipline.
mistakes after mistake. then finally taking loss at the maximum point. I must be out of my mind. I think once i exceed that threshold of trading, I cannot think well. I am thankful for the fact I am still in the green. But I have been taking way too much risk and should and need to lower my level of risk taking.
If i need to do this full time, It is time to start learning things the hard way.